Why I don't like foxes

This year has been my worst ever for foxes and their damage. I don't know if it's the progeny of the fox shown above enjoying himself (or herself, and do foxes experience enjoyment anyway?) on my daughter's trampoline a few years ago now, but they're giving me real trouble. I know there's progeny, because the trouble really began with there being three cubs this spring. These little so-and-so's have taken regular delight in wrecking my vegetable beds. I use cloche hoops and net to keep the cats and birds off but these proved no barrier to the foxes who take great delight in leaping on the net, ripping it off the hoops and damaging whatever they can by a variety of means - digging, rolling about and/or cr*pping! And the latter has the most disgusting smell. They've even bent some of the hoops, which I thought were quite sturdy things. It's actually been quite soul destroying going up the garden each morning to see what I've lost or what repairs I need to make.

Anyway, as my veggies have got bigger there's been less scope for the vermin to do harm - theyr'e not interested in taking on a 2ft sprout plant, only seedlings - but they've now moved on to my new pond and its surrounding area which includes a number of recently planted shrubs. Yesterday morning I found that they'd cr*pped both beside the pond (on a stone slab!) and under my outdoor table on my wrought iron parasol holder - it was almost as though the latter was deliberately targeted. In addition, they'd dragged out the solar panel and the pump switch for the fountain, lifted all the floating hyacinths out of the pond and totally dug up a new potentilla which I'd planted two days before - if I didn't know better, I'd almost believe that they've decided to do as much damage as they can to spite me for fencing off one of their runs. And what really irritates me is that if I were to tell one of my cretinous neighbours who feeds these vermin they'd just giggle because foxes are cute, aren't they, and they've got more right to be here than I have etc, etc.

OK, OK I'm going on, but other reasons why I hate vulpes vulpes include their nocturnal noises of screaming and yipping, the fact that they eat the eggs that some prat feeds them in my garden and that they bring all kinds of rubbish in with them - gardening gloves (they've stolen mine before now), football boots, children's toys, yogurt pots and so on. B*st*rds. If I could invite the Quorn into my garden I'd be on the phone immediately.......